Talks have fallen through. The investment I was hoping for is no longer going to happen. I'm pretty fed up right now! I have been doing a lot of thinking over the past few days and am starting to think that I'm not sure I want to do this any more. I know I've come a long way and stopping now would be like giving up, which is something I rarely do but I just feel as though I'm not getting anywhere. I'm treading water when I could be freestyling into the distance. Yes, it's partly my own impatience that makes me feel this way but also, I'm not sure this is the path I want to take any more. I'd still like to be involved somehow as a trader but for the amounts I'm making and am likely to be able to make for the foreseeable future, is it worth it?
Maybe I need a change, perhaps the repetitive nature of my trading is grinding me down. Maybe it's because I'm not feeling stimulated any more by online debate or from learning new things. Writing this post, I realise I don't actually have much left to say. Or maybe I'm just pissed off because another investment opportunity has fallen through when it all seemed to be heading in the right direction.
I got into trading purely for the money. I wasn't that interested in tennis and had no interest at all in gambling. This was never about having a hobby, something fun to do in my spare time, a little extra pocket money. It was all or nothing for me - I want to make some serious cash or I'm really not that bothered. I always thought that was going to happen one day and I'm almost certain that it would if I could only compound my profits. But that isn't going to happen this year and I don't know if I can continue treading water for another year, when I could be doing something else. Without investment, I'm stuck and although I've been doing well, everything I earn goes straight back out.
I feel like I need a new challenge, something new to get the juices flowing. I'm just not sure what that is yet.